Monday, November 18, 2013

Pot Dizzied Chiefs Lose Sunday Night's Game
Multiple NFL teams have complained the high marijuana to oxygen ration inside Mile High Stadium gives the marijuana-trained Broncos an unfair advantage at home against incoming teams from states where marijuana remains appropriately illegal.

Denver, Colorado – Shocking new reports from sources in Denver confirm that Denver Broncos personnel were seen flooding Mile High Stadium with marijuana smoke, inundating the stadium with copious clouds of the mind-altering chemical moments before the game.  Sources claim Denver Broncos staff also flooded the Chief’s locker room with a constant stream of marijuana smoke before the game and during halftime, as they have done with other teams for the last two years.

NBC commentators noted that several Chiefs players, including veteran quarterback Alex Smith, complained of instantly feeling ‘dizzy and nauseated’ when they took to the stadium to do stretches and practice before the game started. Chief’s coach Andy Reid complained of feeling like he was ‘having a stroke’ as he stood on the sideline, trying to focus on his players and finding out why his receivers continually dropped passes throughout the first half of the Sunday night game.

“It is suspicious when you have Charles dropping five your toss-ups and Peyton Manning chucking 60-yard touchdown passes off his left foot to his receivers, our guys hardly able to keep their balance and giggling,” a stoic Andy Reid said, saying the Chiefs will get beyond this game and prepare for San Diego next week.

Chiefs fans watching the game on Jumbo-tron back at Arrowhead Stadium were equally skeptical.  ”You have to wonder if the Broncos are trying to give out contact high to incoming teams.  They train in marijuana-laden conditions, other teams cannot compete with that. There is a conspiracy going on here and it involves the government of Colorado itself,” Chiefs fan Nadia Botwin stated.

Botwin may have a reasonable concern.  The Chief’s receivers did drop the ball more than usual and even more questionable, the Chief’s usually devastating pass rush was nothing but wobbly legs and failed tackling attempts against an aging quarterback.

The image at right blatantly shows a marijuana-conditioned Broncos player walking through a field of marijuana smoke earlier this season.

If the evidence and accusations are correct, the Broncos are actively training in marijuana heavy conditions and then flooding the locker rooms of visiting teams with marijuana, and the stadium with marijuana, making the other team devastatingly ‘high’ and unfocused throughout the game.

And this is the secret to how the Broncos are pulling off victories like they did tonight.  I will draft an official letter to the NFL to investigate the Bronco’s underhanded strategies, which again, has been an ongoing complaint by multiple teams playing against this morally questionable franchise.

New Evidence A
In this video image, look at how the Chief’s coach cannot resist playing tickle fingers with Fisher here.  This is not natural and the exact type of behavior you would expect to see of someone who was just forced to inhale Colorado’s classic, cruddy skunk weed for the first time.

New Evidence B
Broncos fill the air with wafts of Colorado Skunk, churning the stomachs and minds of the pure-air-trained Kansas City Chiefs.

New Evidence C

Dwayne Bowe was caught this week training for the game, by trying to smoke a little last second bowl as he sped toward the team practice. Officers dropped charges for now after the Chief’s staff explained how the players have to ‘try to train’ against the Bronco’s cheating techniques.

New Evidence D

You have to wonder how much of Satan’s laughing gas Peyton Manning smoked to play on that broken ankle, pain free.  You don’t just ‘snap’ your ankle the week before, get a questionable MRI, then go out to chuck 60-yard touchdown passes on the run on your ‘bum’ right ankle without hopping up on some sort of drugs.  Considering Manning was not falling asleep as he studied the Chief’s playbook on the sideline, we can only guess he was high on marijuana.

Author: + Leading the charge of faith at Bible Fellowship Church.

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